Silent Night
by Hyaenaa
Summary: He only knew that he'd come here to be rejected. But even worse so, the look on Kyle's face was not one of disgust, in the same way that it wasn't one of contentment or happiness. It was amusement.


**Note: This is an old drabble I wrote last Christmas to vent out a personal experience when I confessed my feelings for a heterosexual boy and was rejected, quite literally in the words Kyle uses in this fic. I knew it wouldn't go anywhere but I couldn't take being so cruel and hiding my emotions for him like that. But yeah, here's my shoddy little vent story that I may as well post here.**

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**Silent Night**

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Every bit of frost that pounded against Eric Cartman's exposed visage sent a painful sharpness through his skin and caused him to ache further. When it came to insults, there was no such thing as "too far" for him. But earlier that day, when he'd said rather unmentionable words to Kyle Broflovski, the look of pure hatred that he'd been given in response sent him something much more painful than the little bits of ice that rapidly launched themselves into his pores. For the remainder of that day he'd been ignored and, at a loss as to what to do, Eric found no better solution than to tell Kyle the truth.

That Eric Cartman was a dirty little faggot who wanted, so desperately, to hate Kyle with every fiber of his being and acted as though he didn't in a morbid attempt to convince himself. And frankly, it wasn't working. He liked Kyle Broflovski. And Kyle would never like him.

Cartman forcibly swung open the door to the Broflovski residence, startling the family who'd been in the middle of dinner at the time.

"Kyle, if I could have a word," he breathed out with agonizing patience.

Mr. and Mrs. Broflovski exchanged surreptitious glances. Kyle looked from them, and then to Eric, before a steely glare transitioned over his face. "Fine," he hissed out. "Excuse me for just a second."

That having been said, he pushed himself grudgingly away from the warm dinner and out into the cold, where he shut the door behind himself.

"What the hell do you want?" He grunted. "You've been a total dick lately, and you're lucky I'm even talking to you."

"Kyle," Cartman swallowed thickly, looking up at him with a plaintive lust that clawed at his surfaces. "Tell me you hate me."

For a moment, Kyle failed to understand. "What?" He huffed out, a jocular tone seeping through his voice.

Eric's teeth grit and he felt a heat raise over his face. "Just say it, fucker."

Kyle leaned his weight onto one hip, looking petulant. "Just tell me what's up, dude. You've been even more of a bastard lately and I want to know why."

Eric choked as the world blackened and he felt the snow build upon his frosting hat. There were hot, angry tears forming in his eyes and he looked away in humiliation.

"No," he murmured.

"Cartman…" Worry began to find it's way into Kyle's voice and it hurt Eric even more as Kyle leaned forward to inspect him. "Dude, seriously. I can't hate you more than I already do."

Eric looked up at him, fear resonating throughout his system, and the moment his eyes fell upon Kyle's, he lost all sense of control. "I have a thing for you."

The words were out before he knew it, but Cartman didn't regret it. He knew it'd happen. He only knew that he'd come here to be rejected. But even worse so, the look on Kyle's face was not one of disgust, in the same way that it wasn't one of contentment or happiness. It was _amusement_.

"Oh." Kyle piped up, voice bordering on casual, as though someone had told him something almost insignificant, like what the weather would be later that week. "That's weird."

_Weird_. Eric felt his chest clench up and he felt himself beginning to shake.

"Sorry dude," Kyle spoke slowly, as though Eric wouldn't understand any other way. "I don't swing that way. But it's cool if you're gay or whatever, I understand."

Of course. Of course, he _had_ to clarify that he wasn't _homophobic_, God _forbid_. He was just straight. Kyle smiled apologetically and his hands began to twitch upwards to his chest, folding around each other in such a way that Cartman instantly recognized his discomfort, particularly when Eric said nothing.

"I-" He choked out, but all words failed him and he instead settled on a heavy, shuddering breath.

"Look." Kyle's voice shook in return and he took a sideways glance back to his house. "It's really cold out, and I have to go in." He was talking quickly, so quickly, just trying to blow off how grossed out he was, even as he stumbled over his words and looked about ready to vomit. "But I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Kyle paused, hand on the doorknob, before he muttered out, "Oh and uh, merry Christmas, Cartman."

And then he was gone, and all that was left were the flickering of Christmas lights and a lonesome Eric Cartman.


End file.
